There is a particular kind of woman who sends the drink back because it isn’t cold enough, knows exactly which restaurant she wants for dinner and has absolutely no interest in pretending she doesn’t have an opinion. We have spent years calling women like this difficult. But what if she isn’t difficult? What if she just knows what she likes?

Picture her. It’s Friday night, she’s running late because she changed her outfit twice, and she’s meeting her friends for a drink before dinner. She knows the restaurant she wants, the table she wants and, yes, she has already decided what she’s ordering. She isn’t trying to control the evening. She just doesn’t see the point in pretending she has no preferences when she very clearly does.

Somewhere along the way, being easygoing became a personality trait women were expected to perfect. Don’t be demanding. Don’t ask too many questions. Don’t seem too interested. Don’t care if he takes three days to reply. Be the cool girl. Be spontaneous. Be low-maintenance. And above all, don’t make him feel like being with you requires any actual effort.

But I’ve been thinking: what if being a little bit of a brat isn’t such a bad thing?

Not the kind of brat who treats people badly or expects the world to revolve around her. I’m talking about the woman who has preferences. She knows where she wants to eat, what she wants to wear, how she likes her coffee and what kind of relationship she wants. She isn’t afraid to say, “Actually, I don’t like that,” simply because someone might think she’s being difficult.

And perhaps there is something quite refreshing about that.

The Death of the Low-Maintenance Woman

For years, women have been sold the idea that the most desirable woman is the one who asks for the least.

She’ll happily eat wherever he wants. She doesn’t mind if he changes the plans at the last minute. She’s totally fine with casual dates and last-minute texts. She doesn’t need flowers because, honestly, it’s the thought that counts. She certainly won’t mention that she expected him to organise the date because she doesn’t want to seem demanding.

Of course, being considerate is a good thing. Nobody wants to date someone who turns every dinner reservation into a constitutional crisis. But there is a difference between being considerate and constantly making yourself smaller so someone else can remain comfortable.

Somewhere between being the “cool girl” and trying not to seem high-maintenance, women learned to apologise for having preferences at all.

We became experts at saying, “I don’t mind,” when we absolutely did.

And I think we’ve had enough of that.

So, What Actually Makes Someone a Brat?

Being a brat isn’t about being selfish. It’s about being honest about what you want.

Maybe you want him to pick the restaurant instead of asking you what you want to do every single time. Maybe you want flowers because you like flowers. Maybe you don’t want to spend Friday night watching his favourite football team because you’d rather be at a bar with your friends wearing the new dress you bought last week.

Maybe you want the window seat.

Maybe you want dessert.

Maybe you want him to actually plan the date.

None of these things are outrageous demands. They’re preferences. And having preferences is part of having a personality.

The problem begins when we confuse knowing what you want with believing you’re entitled to whatever you want.

There is a difference.

A brat can say, “I don’t like this restaurant. Can we go somewhere else?” An inconsiderate person says, “This restaurant is beneath me.” A brat can want flowers. She doesn’t get to punish someone for not reading her mind. A brat can have standards. She doesn’t get to treat people badly because she thinks she’s better than them.

The goal isn’t to become unbearable.

It’s to stop being afraid of being a little particular.

Why Are Men Allowed to Be So Particular?

Think about how easily we accept men having preferences.

He doesn’t like the restaurant? Fair enough.

He only drinks a certain type of beer? That’s just his taste.

He spends an absurd amount of money on trainers? Good for him.

He wants to watch his team play every Saturday? That’s his thing.

But when a woman says she has a particular restaurant she loves, suddenly she’s “high-maintenance”. When she cares about how she dresses, she’s trying too hard. When she expects a man to make an effort, she’s asking for too much.

There is something interesting about the way we frame male preferences as personality and female preferences as demands.

A man who knows exactly what he wants is decisive. A woman who knows exactly what she wants can be difficult.

Of course, women can be unreasonable too. But I do think we’re sometimes much quicker to label a woman difficult for having standards than we are to question why she has been made to feel guilty for having them.

There is something quite attractive about a woman who knows what she likes. Not because she expects everyone else to accommodate her every whim, but because she doesn’t need to perform indifference.

She can simply say, “This is what I want.”

And mean it.

The Pleasure of Being a Little Difficult

Maybe the best part of being a brat is that you get to enjoy your own preferences.

You can want the pretty table in the corner. You can take your time choosing what to wear. You can order the dessert even when everyone else says they’re too full. You can tell your boyfriend that, yes, you would actually prefer flowers over another bottle of wine.

You can care.

I think women are sometimes encouraged to pretend they don’t care because caring makes you vulnerable. If you admit you want the romantic date, you can be disappointed. If you admit you expect effort, someone might fail to give it to you. If you admit you like being spoiled, someone might call you materialistic.

But what is the point of dating if we’re constantly trying to make ourselves impossible to disappoint?

There is a certain freedom in saying, This is what I like. This is what makes me happy. This is what I want from a relationship.

The right person doesn’t have to fulfil every preference you have. But they shouldn’t make you feel ridiculous for having them.

And honestly, isn’t part of the fun of being a woman having a few ridiculous preferences?

The perfect table. The overpriced cocktail. The dress you definitely didn’t need but couldn’t stop thinking about. The restaurant you’ve been wanting to try for three months.

Not everything has to be practical to be worth wanting.

You Don’t Have to Be the Easiest Woman to Love

Maybe the real problem isn’t that women are too demanding.

Maybe we’ve simply become very good at demanding less.

We are taught to be grateful for the bare minimum because asking for more might scare someone away. But if asking for effort scares someone away, perhaps the issue isn’t that you asked for too much. Perhaps you just asked the wrong person.

And I’m not suggesting you turn every relationship into a list of requirements. Relationships require compromise. Sometimes you eat at his favourite restaurant. Sometimes he watches your show. Sometimes you choose the film and sometimes he does.

Being a brat doesn’t mean refusing to compromise.

It means knowing the difference between compromise and self-abandonment.

Because there is nothing particularly romantic about constantly swallowing your preferences just to keep someone around.

Maybe “Too Much” Isn’t the Problem

I’ve started to think that being a little bit of a brat can actually be a form of self-respect.

Not because you should expect the world to bend around you, but because you should be allowed to have desires without immediately questioning whether they’re reasonable enough to say out loud.

Want the flowers.

Order the dessert.

Wear the ridiculous shoes.

Tell him where you’d actually like to go for dinner.

Have standards. Have opinions. Change your mind. Be particular about the things that matter to you and flexible about the things that don’t.

And maybe the next time someone calls you “too much”, don’t immediately wonder how you could become less.

Maybe ask yourself whether you were actually asking for too much, or whether you were simply asking someone who had become very comfortable giving you too little.

Because perhaps being a little difficult isn’t the worst thing a woman can be.

Perhaps the real luxury is being completely comfortable saying what you want, knowing that the right person won’t make you feel guilty for wanting it.

And if that makes you a brat?

Well, darling, there are worse things to be.

Have you ever looked at a woman and felt like she just has something about her? Not necessarily because she’s the most beautiful person in the room, but because everything about her feels so distinctly her. Her hair, the way she dresses, the little details she repeats, even the way she carries herself. You can tell she knows exactly who she is.

For the longest time, I thought women like that were simply born with “it”. I assumed confidence and style were things you either naturally had or you didn’t. But maybe confidence isn’t something we find. Maybe it’s something we build through the choices we make every day.

Maybe some women don’t just find themselves.

Maybe they create themselves.

Not in a fake way or by pretending to be someone they’re not, but by intentionally choosing what makes them feel most like themselves. The clothes they feel good in, the beauty choices that make them feel beautiful and the little details that slowly become part of their identity.

And maybe that’s what creating an alter ego is really about.

It isn’t about becoming a completely different person. It’s about discovering a version of yourself that has always been there and giving her more space to exist.

Every Iconic Woman Has Signatures

Think about the women we consider iconic. They all have certain details that immediately come to mind.

Carrie Bradshaw wasn’t just memorable for her beautiful clothes. Her big, voluminous curls and iconic collection of heels made her style instantly recognisable.

That’s what makes the idea of an alter ego so interesting. The women we admire aren’t memorable because they constantly reinvent themselves. They’re memorable because they understand themselves.

I like to call these little details signatures.

A signature is something that becomes connected to you. It’s the thing someone notices and immediately thinks, “That is so her.” Maybe it’s your blonde highlights, square-shaped nails, a signature perfume, or the gold hoops you somehow wear with every outfit. These little details might seem small, but together they start to create a very clear picture of who you are.

Take Renee Downer, for example. Her light brown hair complements her complexion so beautifully that it has become part of her signature look.

But signatures don’t only exist in appearance. They can be the things you love, the hobbies you have or even little parts of your personality. For example, I’d say two of my signatures are going to the gym and the colour pink. People see either one and instantly think of me. It’s funny how something so simple can become so closely associated with you.

Stop Chasing Aesthetics. Start Creating Identity.

One thing social media has given us is endless inspiration. And honestly, I think that’s one of the most exciting parts about fashion and beauty. We get to experiment, discover new sides of ourselves and imagine different versions of who we could become.

But sometimes I think we spend so much time collecting aesthetics that we forget to ask ourselves one important question: which version actually feels like me?

One week you’re saving old money outfits, the next you’re convinced you need a completely different wardrobe. Then suddenly you’re watching videos about becoming a clean girl, a Pilates girl or whatever aesthetic has taken over TikTok that month.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. Trying different versions of yourself is part of growing.

But maybe that’s why we’re so drawn to creating alter egos. It isn’t always because we want to escape who we are. Sometimes it’s because we can feel there are parts of ourselves we haven’t fully explored yet.

Sometimes the things we are drawn to are clues. They show us pieces of ourselves that are waiting to be explored.

Take Katie Fang, for example. She’s naturally brunette, but seeing her with blonde or pink hair almost feels like seeing a different version of her. Neither one is necessarily more “her”, they’re just different sides she explores.

Because there’s a difference between having an aesthetic and having an identity.

An aesthetic is something you can borrow. An identity is something you build.

Your alter ego doesn’t need to fit perfectly into a category. She doesn’t have to be “old money”, “minimalist”, or anything else the internet has decided is trending. The most interesting women usually aren’t the ones who perfectly fit one aesthetic. They’re the ones who take inspiration from different places and create something that feels completely their own.

Create Her Blueprint

One of my favourite ways to start creating an alter ego is through Pinterest.

But not just another board full of pretty pictures you save and never look at again.

Create a blueprint.

Give your alter ego a name.

It can be similar to yours or completely different. Think about Kylie Jenner’s “King Kylie” era. The colourful hair, bold makeup and Tumblr-girl aesthetic became so recognisable that years later, people still know exactly what you mean when you say “King Kylie”. That’s the kind of identity we’re talking about: a version of you with such clear signatures that people instantly know who she is.

Then start building her world.

Create sections for hair, style, makeup, nails, lifestyle and even the small details that make up her everyday life.

When you’re saving images, don’t just ask yourself if something looks beautiful. Ask yourself: Would this be one of her signatures?

Slowly, you start creating a picture of her.

Borrow Inspiration, Don’t Copy

Sometimes the hardest part of finding your own style is knowing where to begin. A tip I love is finding women you admire and studying what makes their style work. This could be a celebrity, an influencer or even someone you follow online because their outfits always catch your attention.

But I’d also try to find someone who actually looks somewhat like you. Not because you need to copy their entire appearance, but because it makes it easier to imagine how certain hairstyles, makeup looks and clothes might translate onto you. If you look more like Tyla, for example, why is your entire beauty board based around Taylor Swift? You can obviously take inspiration from anyone, but finding someone with similar features, hair texture or even proportions can give you a much more useful starting point.

Then comes the important part: don’t copy her. Study her. Look at how she styles her hair, what colours she wears, which silhouettes she gravitates towards and what little details make her instantly recognisable. Take what works for you and leave the rest.

Your inspiration should expand your creativity, not erase your individuality. The goal is never to become her. It’s to figure out what you can take from her world and make your own.

Dress Like Her

There’s a reason clothes have always been connected to identity. The right outfit can change the way you carry yourself before you’ve even said a word.

Your alter ego’s wardrobe doesn’t need to be expensive or completely new. It just needs to feel like you.

The most stylish women aren’t always the ones with the most clothes. They’re the ones who understand themselves.

They know what makes them feel confident, what pieces reflect their personality and what makes them feel like the best version of who they are.

A little pro tip: building a whole new wardrobe can get expensive, and honestly, you don’t need to. This is where thrifting comes in. Whether you’re browsing a charity shop or scrolling through Vinted from your bed, there are so many unique pieces waiting to be found. Sometimes the perfect piece for your alter ego is hiding in someone else’s old wardrobe, or sitting on Vinted for £7.

Becoming Her Happens Slowly

The biggest misconception about transformation is that it happens overnight.

We imagine waking up one morning with a new wardrobe, a new routine and a completely different level of confidence.

But becoming your alter ego happens in small moments.

It’s choosing the hairstyle from your Pinterest board when you next book your appointment. It’s recreating an outfit you saved instead of saying you have nothing to wear. It’s choosing habits that align with the woman you want to become.

Creating an alter ego isn’t about running away from yourself. It’s about meeting yourself properly.

She isn’t a fictional character you have to become overnight. She is built through small choices: the way you present yourself, the habits you create, the things you allow yourself to enjoy.

Maybe creating your alter ego isn’t about becoming someone new. Maybe it’s about finally becoming more of yourself.

There’s something interesting about being a modern woman.

We have never been more encouraged to choose ourselves, protect our peace and know our worth. We are told to have standards, to never settle and to become the best version of ourselves.

Yet when it comes to love, many of us have become surprisingly good at doing the opposite.

Settling.

Not always because we don’t know what we deserve, but because sometimes wanting more feels vulnerable. Admitting that we want romance, commitment and someone who chooses us intentionally can feel almost embarrassing in a dating culture that rewards being “chill.”

We convince ourselves that we don’t need the flowers, the planned dates or the little gestures that make us feel special. We tell ourselves we’re happy keeping things casual, that we’re not looking for anything serious and that we’re simply enjoying the moment.

And maybe for some people, that is completely true.

But I can’t help but wonder: how many of us are genuinely choosing casual dating because it aligns with what we want and how many of us are choosing it because admitting we want more feels too risky?

When Did Wanting Romance Become Uncool?

There was a time when wanting romance wasn’t something women felt the need to downplay.

Wanting someone to plan a thoughtful date. Wanting flowers for no reason. Wanting someone who couldn’t wait to introduce you to their world. Wanting to feel chosen, not just desired in the moment.

These things were never considered unrealistic. They were simply seen as part of falling in love.

But somewhere along the way, modern dating taught us to be careful with our expectations. We learnt to avoid seeming too interested, too available or too emotionally invested.

The “cool girl” became the woman who never cared too much. The woman who could walk away easily. The woman who never needed reassurance because needing anything was seen as a weakness.

And maybe there is a reason that version of womanhood became so appealing. If you don’t admit you care, then nobody can accuse you of caring too much. If you don’t ask for more, then nobody can disappoint you by not giving it.

But perhaps there is a difference between protecting your heart and hiding it.

Wanting love does not make you less independent. Wanting effort does not mean you lack confidence. Wanting someone to show up for you does not mean you cannot stand on your own.

Maybe we have confused being strong with never allowing ourselves to be loved.

The Rise Of Casual Dating

Hookup culture has become a defining part of modern dating.

With dating apps, social media and changing attitudes around relationships, casual connections have become easier to find and more openly accepted than ever before.

And honestly? There is nothing wrong with that.

The truth is, not everyone is searching for the same thing. Some people genuinely enjoy casual dating. They enjoy the freedom, the excitement and the ability to experience connection without the expectations that come with a committed relationship.

For some people, it works perfectly.

But the conversation becomes more complicated when we stop looking at what everyone else is doing and start looking inward.

Because the question is not whether hookup culture is good or bad.

The question is whether it is right for you.

There is a difference between choosing something because it genuinely makes you happy and choosing something because it feels easier than admitting what your heart actually wants.

When Casual Stops Feeling Casual

The complicated thing about emotions is that they rarely follow the rules we create for ourselves.

You can enter something believing you are completely fine keeping it casual. You can tell yourself you don’t need labels, commitment or anything deeper than the moment you are sharing.

Until suddenly, you realise you want more.

Maybe you start hoping they will ask you on a proper date. Maybe you want them to check in on you because they genuinely care. Maybe you realise that while you enjoy the connection, what you truly crave is intention.

Not just someone wanting your time.

Someone choosing it.

And perhaps that is where many people find themselves conflicted. Sometimes we don’t accept less because less is what we truly want. Sometimes we accept less because having a small piece of someone feels better than the possibility of having nothing at all.

Ariana Grande once sang, “I’d rather your body than half of your heart.”

And maybe that lyric resonates because it captures something many people have experienced: the feeling of wanting someone so much that you convince yourself a part of them is enough, even when a part of you knows you are longing for the whole thing.

The Samantha Jones Paradox

When we talk about women who embrace hookup culture, one fictional character often comes to mind: Samantha Jones from Sex and the City.

Played by Kim Cattrall, Samantha became one of television’s most iconic characters because she was confident, independent and completely unapologetic about her sexuality. She knew what she wanted, she embraced her freedom, and she never allowed society to make her feel ashamed of her choices.

That is exactly what made her so captivating.

But perhaps the most interesting thing about Samantha is not that she didn’t need love.

It is that she knew herself.

She never pretended to want something she didn’t. She was honest about her desires and she never changed herself to fit someone else’s expectations.

Maybe that is the real lesson we can take from Samantha Jones.

Not that every woman should approach relationships the same way she did, but that every woman deserves to be honest with herself about what she wants.

Because independence and romance are not opposites.

A woman can love her freedom and still crave intimacy. She can be confident in her sexuality and still dream about a love story. She can enjoy casual experiences and still want something deeper.

The problem is not whether women want different things.

The problem is when we stop being honest about what those things are.

So… Is Hookup Culture For You?

Maybe hookup culture is exactly what some people want.

Maybe it gives them the freedom, experiences and connections they are looking for at this stage of their lives.

And if that is true, there is nothing wrong with that.

But maybe for others, the question is not whether hookup culture works. Maybe the question is whether they are genuinely fulfilled by it or whether they are simply trying to convince themselves they are.

Are you choosing this because it makes you happy?

Or are you choosing it because asking for more feels frightening?

Because in a world full of situationships, blurred lines and almost relationships, perhaps the most empowering thing we can do is stop performing the version of ourselves we think people will accept.

Maybe we don’t need to become the woman who wants nothing.

Maybe we just need to become the woman who is brave enough to admit what she wants.

Because some of us don’t just want to watch love happen.

We want to experience it.

And maybe the most romantic thing a modern woman can do is stop apologising for wanting a love story of her own.

There is a certain type of woman we all seem to be drawn to.

She might not be the loudest person in the room, or even the one trying hardest to be noticed. But she always leaves an impression. She has stories, passions and a world of her own.

Because anyone can have a pretty face, but not everyone can sew their own vintage-inspired pieces, spend Sunday mornings wandering through bookshops or have a niche interest they could talk about for hours.

The most captivating women are not just beautiful. They are curious.

Beauty Gets Attention. Depth Keeps It.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful. The clothes we wear, the way we style our hair and the little rituals we create for ourselves can be such a wonderful form of self-expression.

But in a world where almost anyone can recreate the same aesthetic, follow the same trends and save the same Pinterest boards, beauty alone is no longer what makes someone stand out.

The women we remember are rarely just the ones who looked the part. They are the ones who had something to say. The ones who could tell you about the book they could not put down, the film they watched three times or the strange little passion they picked up simply because it made them happy.

Because style is not created in isolation. It comes from the life you live, the things you love and the experiences that shape you.

The most captivating women are not trying to become interesting. They are interested in the world around them.

When Did We Become People Who Only Consume?

Somewhere along the way, we became experts at collecting inspiration.

We save the recipes we want to try, the books we want to read and the places we want to visit. We create mood boards for the life we hope to have, carefully curating images of the person we want to become.

But sometimes, between saving the inspiration and actually living it, something gets lost.

We spend so much time looking at what everyone else is interested in that we forget to ask ourselves what genuinely interests us.

The irony is that we have more access to inspiration than ever before, yet many of us feel further away from our own sense of curiosity.

Maybe the answer is not another Pinterest board or another list of things to try. Maybe it is simply making time to explore the things that make us feel alive.

The Life You Build Becomes The Style You Wear

The women with the most captivating style usually have something in common. Their wardrobes feel like an extension of who they are.

Not because they have bought every new trend or mastered the art of looking perfectly put together, but because their style has been shaped by the life they live.

A woman who spends her weekends exploring antique markets, falling in love with old films or learning about art will naturally see the world differently. She collects references without even realising it. A colour she noticed in a gallery, a silhouette from a vintage photograph, a detail from a place she visited. Slowly, all of these little moments become part of her identity.

This is why personal style cannot be copied. You can recreate an outfit, but you cannot recreate the experiences, memories and passions that made someone choose it in the first place.

The most stylish women are not simply wearing clothes. They are telling stories.

The Woman Behind the Aesthetic

Maybe the easiest place to start is by asking yourself a simple question: what do you actually enjoy?

Not what looks impressive. Not what you think you should be interested in. What genuinely makes you lose track of time?

Think about the things you save without even realising it. The recipes sitting in your TikTok favourites, the places you keep adding to your Pinterest boards, the books you have been meaning to read or the hobbies you have always told yourself you would try one day.

Maybe there is a reason you keep coming back to those things. Maybe the girl you imagine becoming is already leaving little clues behind.

The things we are drawn to often tell us more about ourselves than we realise. The girl who saves pictures of old apartments might have a love for interiors. The girl who watches endless cooking videos might secretly want to host dinner parties for the people she loves. The girl who collects vintage outfit inspiration might already know that fashion is about more than just clothes.

Because in a world full of endless possibilities, it would be a shame if our only source of inspiration came from scrolling through other people’s lives.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying a lazy evening online, but there is something beautiful about having something that belongs to you. A passion, a skill or a little corner of life that exists simply because it makes you happy.

Why settle for being a pretty face when you can be a woman with stories to tell? The most intriguing women are not fascinating because they are trying to be. They are fascinating because they have taken the time to discover what excites them.

I couldn't help but wonder: when did we become so afraid of relationships that we started creating unofficial versions of them instead?

Modern dating has a funny way of rejecting labels while quietly recreating everything they represent. We insist we're keeping things casual, yet somehow we're speaking every day. We claim not to want commitment, but still expect consistency. We don't want a boyfriend, but we're spending hours on FaceTime discussing our childhood trauma, future goals and workplace drama.

Somewhere between the good morning texts and the late-night phone calls, a new category of relationship was born.

The situationship.

Not quite a friendship. Not quite a relationship. Just enough emotional intimacy to feel significant, but not enough commitment to provide any real security.

And if we're being honest, most of us know exactly what one looks like.

It's the person you automatically update when something exciting happens. The person whose opinion matters a little more than it should. The person who knows how your job interview went, what your biggest insecurity is and why you're annoyed with your manager this week. It's the person whose coffee order you know by heart, yet somehow you have no idea where you stand with them.

That's the strange contradiction of modern dating.

We have become a generation of people willing to share our location before defining the relationship.

The Boyfriend Benefits Starter Pack

The boyfriend benefits package usually begins innocently enough.

A good morning text here. A check-in message there.

Then suddenly you're discussing your fears, sharing your day in real time and spending three hours on the phone talking about absolutely nothing. Or perhaps more accurately, talking about everything.

One day they're just another contact in your phone. A few months later they're the first person you think about messaging when something funny happens. They become part of your routine so gradually that you barely notice it's happening.

That's the thing nobody talks about.

The emotional intimacy often arrives long before the commitment does.

We've become a generation of people willing to provide relationship-level access before we've established relationship-level intentions. And honestly, sometimes I think we deserve an award for how quickly we volunteer ourselves for emotional labour.

The modern situationship often includes all the things we traditionally associated with a relationship: consistency, affection, companionship, support and intimacy. The only thing missing is the actual relationship.

It's a little like ordering a handbag and receiving everything except the straps. Technically, it's still there. But something important is missing.

The Situationship Paradox

What's fascinating is that most people don't actually want less.

They want safety.

They want connection.

They want affection.

They want someone who chooses them.

Yet somewhere along the way, asking for those things became deeply uncool.

Modern dating has convinced us that clarity is embarrassing. We're terrified of appearing needy, terrified of seeming attached and terrified of asking a simple question like, "What are we?"

So instead, we settle into ambiguity.

We tell ourselves we're happy seeing where things go.

We tell ourselves labels don't matter.

We tell ourselves we're completely relaxed about the whole situation.

Meanwhile we're spending four hours analysing a text message with our friends and rereading a message that simply said "hey" as though we're decoding national security documents.

The performance of being unbothered has become exhausting.

In many ways, modern dating isn't casual at all. It's deeply emotional. We've just become uncomfortable admitting it.

Somehow spending five nights a week talking to the same person feels less serious than asking where the relationship is going.

Make that make sense.

The Uncomfortable Truth

Now, before we blame men for everything, I think it's only fair we have a difficult conversation.

Because nobody is forcing us to answer the FaceTime call.

Nobody is forcing us to become someone's unpaid therapist.

Nobody is forcing us to provide girlfriend-level energy to somebody who has never expressed boyfriend-level intentions.

Ouch.

I know.

Trust me, I've had this conversation with myself too.

Sometimes we accept ambiguity because certainty feels riskier. If we ask the question, we might not like the answer. If we define the relationship, we might discover there isn't one.

So we stay in the grey area because the grey area allows us to keep hoping.

Hope is a powerful thing.

Sometimes powerful enough to keep us invested in situations that no longer make sense.

The truth is, many of us aren't confused about what we want.

We're confused about whether we're allowed to ask for it.

The Real Cost Of Casual

The biggest problem with situationships isn't that they lack labels.

It's that they often create relationship-level expectations without relationship-level security.

People love saying:

"But you're not together."

Technically, that's true.

But feelings don't operate on technicalities.

You don't spend months building emotional intimacy with someone and then magically switch your feelings off because no official title exists. At least most people don't.

That's why situationships can hurt in ways that are difficult to explain.

You're not mourning a relationship.

You're mourning what the relationship could have been.

You're grieving potential.

You're grieving possibility.

You're grieving a connection that felt significant even if it never became official.

And sometimes that's the hardest thing of all.

Not losing what you had.

Losing what you thought it might become.

Maybe That's The Real Problem

Perhaps the issue isn't that people want boyfriend benefits. After all, who wouldn't want consistency, affection, attention and emotional support?

Perhaps the real issue is that we've become comfortable accepting relationship substitutes.

We've convinced ourselves that consistency is enough. That daily phone calls are enough. That emotional intimacy is enough. That "seeing where things go" is enough.

Until one day we realise we've built something that looks remarkably like a relationship, except nobody is willing to call it one.

And maybe that's why situationships are so frustrating. Not because they're casual, but because they're often anything but.

They're emotional.

They're intimate.

They're significant.

The only thing they're not is clear.

Somewhere along the way, modern dating convinced us that asking for clarity was desperate. That wanting commitment was embarrassing. That having standards was somehow less attractive than pretending not to care.

So we became masters of ambiguity.

We learnt how to spend every day talking to someone without asking where things were going. We learnt how to share our feelings without defining them. We learnt how to act like girlfriends while pretending we wanted nothing more.

The performance is exhausting.

Because if we're being honest, most people don't actually want less.

They want certainty.

They want honesty.

They want someone who chooses them on purpose.

Perhaps that's why so many situationships eventually fall apart. Not because somebody wanted too much, but because somebody got tired of pretending they wanted less.

And just like that, I couldn't help but wonder: if asking for clarity feels more frightening than staying confused, have we made modern dating far more complicated than it ever needed to be?

There always seems to be something we’re supposed to be doing in our twenties.

Building a career. Finding the right relationship. Maintaining friendships. Saving money. Travelling more. Getting fitter. Moving out. Glowing up.

Somewhere along the way, our twenties stopped feeling like a decade of discovery and started feeling like a race against the clock.

Maybe that’s why so many of us feel behind. Not because we’re actually failing, but because we’ve convinced ourselves there is a timeline we’re supposed to be following.

The problem is, nobody seems to agree on what that timeline actually looks like.

The Twenties We Were Sold On Screen

There is something oddly comforting about watching fictional people in their twenties.

They always seem to have the apartment, the career, the wardrobe and somehow enough time to meet their friends for coffee in the middle of the day.

Whether it’s the ambitious fashion assistant, the successful city girl or the perfectly polished twenty-something who somehow has her dream apartment by twenty-five, we’re often shown a version of our twenties that feels exciting, glamorous and completely under control.

The only problem?

Real life rarely looks like that.

Careers take unexpected turns. Relationships end. Friendships change. Sometimes the plan you had at twenty-two looks completely different by twenty-seven.

And while films usually wrap everything up neatly by the final scene, most of us are still figuring things out long after the credits would have rolled.

The truth is, nobody has it all figured out. Some people are just better at making it look that way.

Social Media’s Favourite Illusion

Films convinced us our twenties would be glamorous. Social media convinced us everyone else is already living them perfectly.

Open any app and you’ll find somebody announcing a promotion, moving into a new apartment, getting engaged or boarding a flight to a destination you’ve been meaning to visit for years. After a while, it can start to feel like everyone is moving forward while you’re standing still.

Of course, we know social media only shows a highlight reel. Most people understand that logically.

The problem is that comparison is not always logical.

It’s easy to look at somebody’s perfectly curated morning routine and wonder why yours feels so chaotic. It’s easy to see somebody your age buying a home and question your own progress. It’s easy to forget that behind every polished post is a real person with bad days, insecurities and unanswered questions of their own.

Social media has a way of turning other people’s milestones into our deadlines.

And before we know it, we’re measuring our lives against a version of reality that was never complete to begin with.

The Timeline We Invented

Somewhere along the way, many of us created an invisible checklist for our twenties.

By a certain age, we’re supposed to have the career figured out, the relationship secured, the savings account growing and a clear idea of where our life is heading.

The problem is that nobody ever seems to agree on what the timeline actually is.

For some people, success means buying a home. For others, it’s travelling the world, building a business or simply finding a career they enjoy. Yet despite how different our goals can be, many of us still carry the same fear of falling behind.

Behind who exactly, we’re not always sure.

Maybe that is because there is no universal timeline. Life moves at different speeds for different people, and what feels like a delay to one person might be exactly the right path for somebody else.

The pressure comes from believing there is only one correct way to spend your twenties.

The reality is that there isn’t.

The Race Nobody Wins

Perhaps the biggest misconception about your twenties is that they’re supposed to be your finished product.

As though by a certain age, you’re expected to have the answers, the confidence and a perfectly mapped-out plan for the future.

But for most people, their twenties are not a decade of certainty. They’re a decade of trial and error. Of changing your mind, making mistakes, starting over and figuring out what actually matters to you.

And maybe that’s exactly what they are supposed to be.

Not a race to reach every milestone as quickly as possible, but an opportunity to learn, grow and build a life that feels right for you.

Because despite what social media, films and other people’s timelines might suggest, there is no prize for getting there first.

The truth is, life is not a competition and your twenties are not a deadline.

There was always something addictive about Samantha Jones in Sex and the City.

Maybe it was the confidence, the bold wardrobe choices or the way she never seemed afraid to ask for more from life. While the rest of the world obsessed over being liked, Samantha made womanhood look fun, glamorous and completely unapologetic.

And years later, people are still quoting her for a reason. Somewhere between the confidence, the cocktails and the one-liners, Samantha Jones understood a few things about life that women are still trying to learn now.

She Never Built Her Life Around Men

One of the most interesting things about Samantha Jones was that she never treated relationships like the centre of her world.

She enjoyed dating, attention and desire, but never treated being chosen by somebody else as the ultimate goal. While so many women are taught to build their confidence around whether they are wanted or validated, Samantha always seemed more interested in enjoying her own life first.

That was what made her confidence feel so different.

She never came across as somebody desperately trying to be liked. There was no constant need to appear softer, quieter or more digestible for the comfort of other people. Samantha wanted what she wanted and she never really apologised for it.

And honestly, that is probably one of the biggest life lessons people still take from her now.

She Made Femininity Look Fearless

Samantha Jones also understood something a lot of people still misunderstand about femininity: there is nothing shallow about enjoying glamour.

She loved fashion, beauty and luxury, but she never treated those things like guilty pleasures. The bold outfits, fitted dresses and perfectly styled hair were all part of the confidence she carried so naturally. Samantha never dressed like somebody trying to disappear into the background.

That was what made her style so memorable.

A lot of women are still taught to tone themselves down. Dress nicely, but not too confidently. Be attractive, but effortless about it. Samantha Jones never seemed interested in making herself smaller to appear more respectable.

She understood that femininity and power could exist at the same time.

And honestly, that mindset still feels refreshing now.

She Made Getting Older Look Glamorous

One of the most refreshing things about Samantha Jones was the way she approached ageing.

While so much of modern culture treats getting older like something women should fear, Samantha never carried herself like getting older meant becoming invisible. She still dressed boldly, still flirted confidently and still enjoyed her life fully without acting as though confidence had an expiry date.

That was part of what made her so aspirational.

There was no desperation to appear younger than she was, only confidence in who she already was. Samantha made womanhood look exciting at every stage of life, which still feels surprisingly rare to see on television even now.

And honestly, that might be one of the most timeless things about her. Samantha Jones understood that getting older was never the problem. Feeling disconnected from yourself was.

She Said What Other Women Were Thinking

Samantha Jones was also one of the few female characters who said things honestly, even when they were uncomfortable.

She was direct about relationships, sex, insecurity and disappointment in a way that still feels refreshing now. While so many women are taught to soften their opinions or avoid being “too much”, Samantha rarely filtered herself to appear more agreeable.

That honesty was part of what made her so magnetic.

She never seemed afraid of being misunderstood, and there is something strangely powerful about a woman who says exactly what she means without apologising for it afterwards.

Why Women Love Samantha Jones

I do not think women loved Samantha Jones simply because she was confident.

They loved her because she seemed free.

Free to speak honestly, free to want more from life and free to enjoy herself without constantly worrying about how she was being perceived. Samantha never came across as somebody chasing perfection. She simply seemed comfortable with herself, and that is probably why so many women still admire her now.

Because underneath the glamour, the cocktails and the confidence, Samantha Jones represented something much deeper than just being “that girl”.

She represented self-worth.

And maybe that is why her character still feels so iconic years later. Not because women necessarily wanted to become Samantha Jones exactly, but because a part of them wanted to carry life with the same confidence she did.

There’s a very specific type of woman people always remember.

Not because she was the loudest in the room. Not because she looked the most “perfect.” And not even because she followed every beauty trend online.

It’s usually something else.

Some women are polished. Some are effortless. Some are chaotic but magnetic. Some barely say anything and still hold the room.

They don’t all look the same, but they share something deeper than beauty: presence.

That’s what makes a woman unforgettable.

So How Does One Become Disgustingly Hot?

You stop auditioning.

There is something wildly attractive about a woman who behaves as though she has already been cast, not in real life, but in her own private film where she is both writer and unpredictable lead. She does not ask, “Do you like me?” She assumes people are still thinking about her after she leaves.

This is not arrogance. This is confidence.

What Do You Bring Into a Room?

I know you normally hear “what do you bring to the table?” in a dating context and immediately cringe at the question. But if you take a step back, it’s not really about relationships at all. It’s about presence. What do you actually bring into a room when you walk in?

Some women bring ease. Some bring tension. Some bring energy you can feel immediately. And some women don’t need to do much at all. You feel it when they walk in.

It’s not something you perform. It’s something people notice instantly.

The Problem With Everyone Looking the Same

A lot of women spend their early 20s trying to become the most socially approved version of beauty: the same hair, the same makeup, the same outfits, the same routines.

But the women who become truly attractive over time usually stop chasing sameness. They start figuring out what actually suits them, what feels natural to them, what energy they want to carry, and how they want people to feel around them.

Hotness becomes significantly more powerful when it looks intentional instead of copied, because people can always tell when someone actually knows themselves.

The Way She Takes Care of Herself

There’s something very attractive about women who take care of themselves from a place of self-respect rather than punishment, not obsessive perfection, not impossible routines, just consistency.

The older you get, the more beauty becomes connected to lifestyle: sleep, stress, food, movement, confidence, environment.

Women who glow long-term usually build lives that support them, and honestly, that kind of beauty always lasts longer than trend-based beauty.

Becoming Interesting

One of the biggest lies social media tells women is that beauty alone creates magnetism. It doesn’t.

The women people obsess over usually have something else: opinions, humour, taste, ambition, emotional depth, mystery, presence, stories.

They read, they travel, they experience things, they build lives outside of trying to be desirable. Ironically, that’s often what makes them more desirable, because there’s something deeply attractive about women who feel mentally alive.

Style Over Trends

A woman with strong personal style will almost always stand out more than someone constantly chasing every trend online, because style communicates identity.

The most attractive women usually understand their colours, their shapes, their energy, their references, and their lifestyle. They aren’t dressing to impress everybody, they’re dressing like themselves.

And that authenticity reads as confidence.

Your Energy Changes Your Entire Face

This sounds dramatic, but it’s true.

The older I get, the more I realise how much energy affects beauty.

Bitterness changes people. So does insecurity. So does constantly comparing yourself. But so does joy, purpose and feeling emotionally fulfilled.

There’s a reason some women become more attractive in their late 20s and 30s. They care less about how they’re perceived. They stop performing for other people, they stop shrinking themselves and they stop second-guessing how they come across.

You can see it in the way they walk into a room.

Becoming hot rarely happens overnight. It’s usually something people grow into slowly: confidence, style, energy, the way someone carries themselves when they stop trying so hard.

The girls are back in the supermarket again, only this time it is not for matcha or iced coffee, but carrots.

Somewhere between green juices and wellness habits, carrot juice has quietly become the drink of the moment. Bright, slightly chaotic in colour and suddenly everywhere.

It is the latest addition to the ever-turning wellness rotation. One week it is chia seeds, the next it is chlorophyll water, and now it is carrots in a glass. Always simple. Always “good for you”. Always slightly viral.

So why now. And more importantly, why carrots?

The question is, is this actually doing anything, or is this just the latest version of matcha in a different shade? Either way, I’m curious.

When Did Carrots Become a Thing?

Somehow, carrot juice has made its way into everyone’s kitchen.

It is not a niche habit anymore. It is everywhere.

Aisha Potter is one of the names behind this moment. Her carrot juice content did not just circulate, it stuck. It became something people wanted to try for themselves.

Girls started making it at home. Supermarkets quietly entered the trend cycle. Carrots stopped being just carrots and became something else entirely.

Aisha Potter did not just post a drink. She made it a ritual.

So This is What Carrot Juice is in People’s Lives Now

It is less about carrots and more about why this one has stuck.

Carrot juice has become one of those small wellness habits that actually makes it into the routine. Not a full lifestyle change, just something simple enough to repeat.

It is easy. It does not ask much. It fits into a morning without needing planning or effort, which is often what decides whether something lasts or not.

It is easier than a matcha run. One supermarket trip and you are done.

Is Carrot Juice The New Matcha?

It feels familiar.

Not long ago, it was matcha. Matcha lattes, matcha routines, matcha everywhere. It became the drink that signalled you were “doing wellness”.

Then it became so everywhere that even Hailey Bieber, known for shaping modern beauty and wellness trends, called it overrated in a recent TIME interview. And like most things in wellness, once something tips into overexposure, it starts to move on.

Carrot juice feels like the quieter follow-up. Less of a moment, more of a swap that slipped in. Still simple. Still aesthetic. Still easy to make or pick up.

The question is not really whether carrot juice is the new matcha. It is whether we are just cycling through the same thing again, one drink at a time.

The Benefits

Carrot juice is naturally rich in beta-carotene, which the body converts into vitamin A. This is often linked with skin health, vision and general immune support. It is also associated with a natural-looking glow, which is why it keeps appearing in wider wellness conversations.

It can be an easy way to add vitamins and antioxidants into the day, especially when fresh vegetables are not always the centre of every meal. Because it is a juice rather than whole carrots, it is lower in fibre, but still contributes to overall nutrient intake as part of a balanced diet.

It is not a quick fix or a transformation in a glass, more a small, steady habit that adds something useful in the background over time.

As always, it works differently for everyone.

Carrot Juice Recipe

2–3 carrots, an apple, a small piece of ginger, a squeeze of lemon and a splash of water to help blend.

Blend or juice everything together, strain if you prefer a smoother texture, and serve cold over ice.

Simple, slightly sweet, and very much in its era.

The girls will probably move on again soon.

From carrots, to whatever comes next in the rotation, wellness rarely stays still for long. It shifts, quietly, from one thing in a glass to another.

Maybe it will stick. Maybe it will sit in the fridge next to the rest of the trends that came before it.

I’ve been thinking about what it really means to be a chic woman.

Not the kind you scroll past for a second and forget. The kind you remember. The kind who walks into a room and nothing feels forced, yet everything feels considered. The kind who orders a drink without hesitation, who knows exactly what suits her, who never looks like she tried too hard but somehow always gets it right.

And I keep coming back to this. Being chic has very little to do with what you buy.

It’s About How You Choose

Because anyone can follow a trend. Anyone can wear what’s popular this week. But not everyone knows how to edit, how to hold back, how to create a life that feels intentional rather than impulsive.

A chic woman understands that. She doesn’t chase everything. She selects.

She knows that taste is built quietly. In the way she dresses, yes, but also in the way she speaks, the spaces she spends time in, the things she says yes to and more importantly the things she doesn’t.

There’s a certain calmness to her. Not because life is perfect, but because she has decided what matters. And that shows.

The Details Always Reveal Everything

You can see it in her wardrobe. It isn’t overflowing, it’s refined. Pieces that work together, colours that make sense, fabrics that feel good against the skin. She doesn’t need ten versions of the same thing. She needs the right one.

You can see it in her routine. She takes care of herself, not in a loud or performative way, but in small consistent choices. Clean skin, brushed hair, a scent that lingers just enough. Nothing excessive, nothing missing.

You can see it in her energy. She isn’t trying to impress everyone in the room. She isn’t seeking approval. There’s a quiet confidence that comes from knowing herself, from trusting her own eye.

Money Can’t Buy Taste

And maybe that’s what people get wrong. They think being chic is about looking expensive, but money can’t buy taste.

It can buy options, it can buy access, it can buy things. But it cannot teach you how to put them together in a way that feels effortless. It cannot teach you restraint. It cannot teach you presence.

Taste is developed. It comes from paying attention, from noticing what works, what feels right, what aligns with the life you actually want to live.

Becoming Her

A chic woman is always refining. She evolves, she edits, she lets go of what no longer fits. Not just in her wardrobe, but in her habits, her environment, her mindset.

She understands that style is just one part of the picture. The way she spends her mornings, the way she moves through the city, the way she carries herself when no one is watching. It all adds up.

And maybe being chic isn’t about becoming someone new, maybe it’s about removing what isn’t you. Stripping things back until what’s left feels honest, effortless and entirely your own. Because the women we all think of as chic aren’t copying anyone else. They’ve simply mastered the art of being themselves, with intention.

And that’s what makes them unforgettable.

Modern dating is confusing. Sometimes I wonder how we went from romcoms and fairytales to talking stages and situationships, but I guess that’s what the modern dating scene looks like now.

These days, the term situationship is used to describe relationships that exist somewhere in the grey area, not quite casual but not quite committed either. But sometimes what we call a situationship isn’t actually that at all.

Sometimes it’s just a bad situation you’re in.

So how do you tell the difference?

What a Situationship Actually Is

A situationship, at its core, is a relationship that exists somewhere in the grey area. It is more than casual, but not quite committed either. There might be dates, late-night conversations and a level of emotional closeness, but the relationship itself remains undefined.

In modern dating, situationships have become surprisingly common. Sometimes they happen because neither person is ready for something serious, or because both people are simply enjoying the connection without putting a label on it. In some cases, that can work if both people are truly on the same page about what it is.

The key difference is mutual understanding. A real situationship is not built on confusion or mixed signals. It is two people knowingly existing in that in-between space.

Signs It’s Actually a Bad Situation

But sometimes what we call a situationship is not actually that at all. Sometimes it is simply a bad situation that we are trying to romanticise.

One of the biggest signs is the constant avoidance of clarity. The conversations about where things are going never quite happen and every time the topic comes up it is brushed off, joked about or postponed for another day. Weeks or even months can pass and nothing really changes.

Another sign is inconsistency. One week the attention feels exciting and promising and the next week the effort disappears completely. Plans revolve around their schedule, communication feels unpredictable and you slowly realise that you are investing far more energy than you are receiving.

Over time the emotional impact becomes obvious. You start analysing every text, questioning every interaction and wondering if you are expecting too much. But a healthy connection should not leave you constantly uncertain about where you stand.

Confusion is not chemistry. It is often a warning sign.

Why People Stay in These Dynamics

If the signs are there, why do so many people stay?

Often it comes down to hope. Hope that things will eventually become clearer. Hope that with a little more time the relationship will naturally shift into something more defined. When there are moments of connection or affection it becomes easy to focus on those highlights and ignore everything in between.

There is also the quiet pressure that modern dating brings. Friends might say to give it time. Social media constantly reminds us that relationships today rarely follow a clear path. So you start wondering if you are being impatient or expecting too much. You tell yourself that maybe this is just how things are now.

But at some point it is worth asking yourself an honest question. Is this hope, or is this effort? Because a real connection should not rely on one person holding onto potential while the other remains comfortably undecided.

When It’s Time to Walk Away

At some point you have to stop focusing on what the relationship could become and start paying attention to what it actually is. Potential can be seductive. It makes you believe that with a little more patience, a little more understanding or a little more time, things might finally fall into place.

But real relationships are not built on possibility. They are built on clarity, effort and mutual intention.

If you constantly feel unsure about where you stand, that uncertainty is already telling you something. The right connection will not leave you analysing every message or waiting for consistency that never quite arrives.

Because in the end, the right person will never make you feel like a question mark.

Before TikTok “It Girls,” created morning routines and Pinterest aesthetics, there was Sex and the City. The show introduced four distinct women who each embodied a unique version of the “It girl.” From Charlotte’s timeless elegance to Carrie’s fashion-forward individuality, they showcased confidence, style and self-expression, reshaping what it meant to be an “It girl” for a new generation.

Charlotte York: The Classic It Girl

As the Park Avenue princess, Charlotte York represents the classic “It Girl,” carrying herself with elegance and poise. Charlotte’s fashion in Sex and the City reflects timeless sophistication, often featuring tailored silhouettes, soft colours and feminine details. Her quest for love and fairy-tale romance resonates with audiences who admire her belief in true love and happily ever after, showing that grace and authenticity never go out of style.

Miranda Hobbes: The Ambitious It Girl

Miranda Hobbes shatters stereotypes as an ambitious go-getter balancing a high-powered career and personal life with sharp wit and a no-nonsense attitude. Miranda’s fashion in Sex and the City reflects her confident and independent personality. She often goes for sleek, minimalist looks, favouring tailored blazers, crisp shirts and well-fitted trousers in neutral tones. She adds subtle pops of colour through accessories like handbags or understated jewellery, reflecting her modern, professional style.

Samantha Jones: The Fearless It Girl

Samantha Jones embraces her sexuality with confidence, breaking taboos and redefining what it means to be a fearless woman. Her bold, liberated attitude makes her unapologetically independent, always in control of her life and relationships. Samantha’s fashion in Sex and the City mirrors her daring personality, often featuring form-fitting dresses, plunging necklines and eye-catching prints. She flaunts her curves with bold colours, statement accessories and luxurious fabrics. This type of It Girl shows that self-assurance and confidence are just as stylish as any outfit.

Carrie Bradshaw: The Original It Girl

Carrie Bradshaw is the ultimate “It Girl,” full of charm and curiosity. Her love of fashion, especially her iconic shoes, reflects her playful personality and bold approach to life. Each outfit she wears in Sex and the City tells a story, mixing patterns, textures and unexpected touches that make her unapologetically herself. Carrie shows that being an It Girl is about more than clothes; it is about creativity and embracing your quirks, inspiring a generation to take risks and express themselves.

“Sex and the City” redefined the “It girl” for a new generation. From Charlotte’s classic beauty to Samantha’s fearless attitude, each character showed us that being an “It girl” is about confidence, individuality and living unapologetically. Here’s to the Charlotte’s, Miranda’s, Samantha’s and Carrie’s of the world, may we all channel our inner “It girl” with style, grace and a touch of sass.

Energy dips, bloating, skin flare-ups and feeling “off” for no obvious reason are often quiet signs your gut needs more support. These issues aren’t about doing more. They’re usually about returning to a few foundational habits that actually work.

Below are the gut health habits wellness girls consistently rely on to feel lighter, more balanced and in tune with their bodies.

Herbal supplements for gut support

Herbs like ginger, peppermint, turmeric and liquorice root have always belonged in everyday wellness. Think a warm peppermint tea after dinner or ginger tea on slower mornings. These simple rituals help keep your gut feeling balanced, without overcomplicating wellness.

Apple cider vinegar for gut balance

Apple cider vinegar is a quiet gut health staple. Starting your day with it diluted in water or taking it as a gummy can help support digestion and gut balance. It works by gently supporting stomach acid levels, which can help your body break down food and absorb nutrients more easily. Think of it as a small morning ritual that sets your gut up for the day ahead.

Probiotics and fermented foods

Probiotics are the good bacteria your gut loves. Foods like yoghurt, kefir, kimchi, sauerkraut and kombucha help support digestion and nutrient absorption in a natural way. Adding probiotic rich or fermented foods to your routine can help your gut feel happier and leave you feeling more balanced overall.

Fibre for the win

Fibre is one of those wellness basics that quietly does the most. A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes and nuts supports the good bacteria in your gut, helping everything run more smoothly. Over time, this variety supports digestion, immunity and how you feel day to day.

Keeping your gut happy doesn’t need a full routine reset. A few simple habits, done consistently, can quietly change how you feel in your body and your day.

Healthy skin is not about buying more products, it is about using the right ones in the right order. When you focus on the key steps and ingredients that match your skin type, your skin starts to glow. Here is a straightforward guide to building a skincare routine that actually works.

Know your skin type

Before diving into products it’s important to understand your skin type because it determines what will work best for you.

Dry Skin: Often feels tight flaky and looks dull. Needs hydrating and moisture-rich products.

Oily Skin: Appears shiny with larger pores and frequent breakouts. Needs oil-balancing products that reduce shine.

Combination Skin: Oily in some areas (usually the T-zone) and dry in others. Needs a balanced approach.

Sensitive Skin: Easily irritated prone to redness and reactive to certain products. Needs gentle soothing formulas.

Normal Skin: Even tone balanced hydration and generally problem-free. Can tolerate a wide range of products.

Understanding key skin ingredients

A great routine starts with knowing what each ingredient actually does for your skin. Think of these as the modern it girl essentials:

Salicylic Acid: Your go-to for unclogging pores and keeping breakouts under control.

Niacinamide: The calming superstar that evens tone, smooths texture and supports your skin barrier.

Hyaluronic Acid: The hydration hero that keeps your skin dewy, plump and moisturised.

The essentials steps in a skincare routine

Step one: Cleanser

A good cleanse is the foundation of every It Girl routine. It removes makeup, sweat and buildup so your skin can actually absorb the rest of your products.

Step two: Toner

Toners help rebalance your skin after cleansing. They sweep away any leftover residue tighten the look of pores and give your skin a fresh base for the next steps. A good toner also helps your serums sink in more smoothly.

Step three: Serum

Serums are the treatments in your routine. They target specific concerns like brightness hydration or breakouts. Because they are lightweight and concentrated they deliver fast visible results.

Step four: Moisturiser

Moisturiser seals everything in. It keeps your skin soft hydrated and protected throughout the day. Even oily skin needs moisture to stay balanced and avoid excess shine.

Step five: sunscreen

Sunscreen is the non negotiable final step. It protects your skin from sun damage prevents dark spots and keeps your complexion youthful over time. No routine is complete without it.

These tips are just a guide to help you glow. Everyone’s skin is unique, so always patch-test new products and check with a dermatologist if you have specific concerns.

Social media constantly reshapes beauty standards, and the ‘Clean Girl Aesthetic’ has quickly become a popular trend. Known for its polished, minimalist look with glowing skin and slicked-back hair, this style is linked to effortless elegance. But beyond the TikTok tutorials and Instagram posts, is it just a passing trend, or has it become a lasting lifestyle choice?

What is the Clean Girl Aesthetic?

The clean girl aesthetic romanticises self-care and personal improvement. It reflects a less is more mindset, preferring a fresh, natural look over full glam. This includes light makeup that enhances rather than covers up, creating a simple, fresh-faced look. Dainty jewellery, like thin necklaces and small earrings, is preferred over chunky accessories. Hair is typically styled in a sleek ponytail or a slicked-back bun, giving off an effortless yet polished vibe.

The Clean Girl Aesthetic: Fashion and Wellness

The wardrobe features a simple colour palette dominated by neutral tones like soft greys, whites, baby blues and beiges. Clothing is chosen for comfort and versatility, with staples such as leggings and plain t-shirts. Beyond fashion, many who follow this aesthetic engage in activities promoting well-being, such as yoga, gym workouts and journaling. Clean eating, staying hydrated and smoothies are key to the lifestyle, promoting wellness.

Many encourage waking up early, maintaining productivity and looking put together. This isn’t just about appearance, it’s also about creating a clutter-free living space, staying organised with planners and creating routines that inspire growth. However, one must consider whether it is realistic to maintain the clean girl aesthetic as a long-term lifestyle. Can anyone truly be perfect all the time?

The Clean Girl Aesthetic: A Trend?

There’s no denying the aesthetics’ rise thanks to platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Social media has made it easy to share quick, visually appealing content that showcases the aesthetics’ core elements, simple outfits, fresh makeup looks and routines. Viral challenges focusing on morning routines, skincare and self-care have only added to its popularity, making it feel like a temporary trend.

Many people adopt this look to fit in, gain likes, or try something new. This temporary appeal makes it easy to view the Clean Girl Aesthetic as just another trend. Additionally, the emphasis on buying new clothes to fit the aesthetic raises questions about sustainability.

More Than a Look: A Lifestyle Choice?

For many, the clean girl aesthetic is more than just a look, it’s a lifestyle. It promotes a commitment to self-care and improvement. Those who genuinely embrace this often spend time and energy on their well-being, developing habits that go beyond basic trends. The aesthetic encourages mental and emotional health practices such as meditation, reflecting a bigger commitment to a healthy lifestyle.

Whether the clean girl aesthetic is viewed as a trend or a lifestyle depends on the individual. For some, it may be a passing phase driven by social media, while for others, it becomes a meaningful approach to living that promotes self-care. It is important to remember that the clean girl aesthetic does not have to equal to perfection, rather, it focuses on making sustainable choices that leads to improvement and well-being.

In fashion, entertainment and culture, “It Girl” has a special charm. It makes us think of style and influence. But what exactly is an “It Girl,” and why are we so drawn to them? Today, we look at the “It Girls” from different eras to see what makes them stand out.

Defining the “It Girl”

The term “It Girl” first became popular in the early 20th century by author Elinor Glyn in her 1927 novel “It.” Glyn described “It” as a special quality that’s hard to describe or define. A mysterious quality by certain individuals that sets them apart, a charm that catches people’s attention and admiration. Since then, the term now includes women who have a special mix of style, personality, and influence. They easily capture people’s imaginations and start new trends.

The aura of the “It Girl”

What is it about “It Girls” that interests us so deeply? Perhaps it’s their natural sense of confidence and their effortlessly cool aura. Or maybe it’s their fashion creating trends with their every step. Whatever the reason, “It Girls” have a magnetic charm that lasts forever and touches many generations.

Iconic It Girls Throughout the Eras

Clara Bow (1920s)

In the Twenties, film star Clara Bow captured the hearts of millions with her charm and lively spirit. Known as the original “It Girl,” Bow represented the carefree style, changing ideas about beauty and showing how women were becoming more free after the war.

Audrey Hepburn (1950s)

The epitome of grace and elegance, Audrey Hepburn charmed audiences in the 1950s with her timeless beauty and flawless style. From her iconic role in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” Later in life, she also did a lot of good for others. Her lasting legacy as an “It Girl” continues to inspire many with her easy style and kindness towards others.

Twiggy (1960s)

With her boyish charm, British model Twiggy became the face of the Swinging Sixties, embodying the spirit of youth culture and rebellion. Her unique style and cutting-edge fashion changed the fashion world, making her a symbol of that time.

Madonna (1980s)

In the bright and colourful 1980s, Madonna became the ultimate “It Girl,” pushing boundaries with her provocative style and fearless attitude. From her groundbreaking music videos to her boundary-pushing fashion choices, she represented change, encouraging many fans to be themselves.

Kate Moss (1990s)

With her thin body and carefree attitude, British supermodel Kate Moss became the poster child for 90s grunge chic. Her effortless blend of high fashion and streetwear captured the current mood of the era, confirming her status as the most typical “It Girl” of the decade.

Zendaya (Present)

In today’s world, actress Zendaya reflects the modern “It Girl” with her red carpet looks and popular role in “Euphoria.” Since her childhood days as a Disney Channel star, Zendaya has been a public favourite, consistently capturing attention and admiration.

Another notable mention is Bella Hadid, loved for her trend-setting street style, high fashion sense and commitment to social justice. She has many qualities of an It Girl, combining style, influence and activism.

From Clara Bow to Zendaya, “It Girls” have left a mark on culture and society. While the faces may change and the trends may evolve, the aura of the “It Girl” remains.

People love to say new year, new me, but for Vels Visions, I actually meant it.

If you’ve noticed a few changes, that’s because Vels Visions has officially moved to Substack. This is where the writing lives now.

Think opinion pieces, daily advice worth saving, and thoughts you’d probably underline if this were a column. The kind of pieces you read with a coffee in one hand and your phone in the other.

For the unapologetically chic woman. You know who you are.

Welcome to Vels Visions.