Have you ever looked at a woman and felt like she just has something about her? Not necessarily because she’s the most beautiful person in the room, but because everything about her feels so distinctly her. Her hair, the way she dresses, the little details she repeats, even the way she carries herself. You can tell she knows exactly who she is.
For the longest time, I thought women like that were simply born with “it”. I assumed confidence and style were things you either naturally had or you didn’t. But maybe confidence isn’t something we find. Maybe it’s something we build through the choices we make every day.
Maybe some women don’t just find themselves.
Maybe they create themselves.
Not in a fake way or by pretending to be someone they’re not, but by intentionally choosing what makes them feel most like themselves. The clothes they feel good in, the beauty choices that make them feel beautiful and the little details that slowly become part of their identity.
And maybe that’s what creating an alter ego is really about.
It isn’t about becoming a completely different person. It’s about discovering a version of yourself that has always been there and giving her more space to exist.
Every Iconic Woman Has Signatures
Think about the women we consider iconic. They all have certain details that immediately come to mind.
Carrie Bradshaw wasn’t just memorable for her beautiful clothes. Her big, voluminous curls and iconic collection of heels made her style instantly recognisable.
That’s what makes the idea of an alter ego so interesting. The women we admire aren’t memorable because they constantly reinvent themselves. They’re memorable because they understand themselves.
I like to call these little details signatures.
A signature is something that becomes connected to you. It’s the thing someone notices and immediately thinks, “That is so her.” Maybe it’s your blonde highlights, square-shaped nails, a signature perfume, or the gold hoops you somehow wear with every outfit. These little details might seem small, but together they start to create a very clear picture of who you are.
Take Renee Downer, for example. Her light brown hair complements her complexion so beautifully that it has become part of her signature look.
But signatures don’t only exist in appearance. They can be the things you love, the hobbies you have or even little parts of your personality. For example, I’d say two of my signatures are going to the gym and the colour pink. People see either one and instantly think of me. It’s funny how something so simple can become so closely associated with you.
Stop Chasing Aesthetics. Start Creating Identity.
One thing social media has given us is endless inspiration. And honestly, I think that’s one of the most exciting parts about fashion and beauty. We get to experiment, discover new sides of ourselves and imagine different versions of who we could become.
But sometimes I think we spend so much time collecting aesthetics that we forget to ask ourselves one important question: which version actually feels like me?
One week you’re saving old money outfits, the next you’re convinced you need a completely different wardrobe. Then suddenly you’re watching videos about becoming a clean girl, a Pilates girl or whatever aesthetic has taken over TikTok that month.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. Trying different versions of yourself is part of growing.
But maybe that’s why we’re so drawn to creating alter egos. It isn’t always because we want to escape who we are. Sometimes it’s because we can feel there are parts of ourselves we haven’t fully explored yet.
Sometimes the things we are drawn to are clues. They show us pieces of ourselves that are waiting to be explored.
Take Katie Fang, for example. She’s naturally brunette, but seeing her with blonde or pink hair almost feels like seeing a different version of her. Neither one is necessarily more “her”, they’re just different sides she explores.
Because there’s a difference between having an aesthetic and having an identity.
An aesthetic is something you can borrow. An identity is something you build.
Your alter ego doesn’t need to fit perfectly into a category. She doesn’t have to be “old money”, “minimalist”, or anything else the internet has decided is trending. The most interesting women usually aren’t the ones who perfectly fit one aesthetic. They’re the ones who take inspiration from different places and create something that feels completely their own.
Create Her Blueprint
One of my favourite ways to start creating an alter ego is through Pinterest.
But not just another board full of pretty pictures you save and never look at again.
Create a blueprint.
Give your alter ego a name.
It can be similar to yours or completely different. Think about Kylie Jenner’s “King Kylie” era. The colourful hair, bold makeup and Tumblr-girl aesthetic became so recognisable that years later, people still know exactly what you mean when you say “King Kylie”. That’s the kind of identity we’re talking about: a version of you with such clear signatures that people instantly know who she is.
Then start building her world.
Create sections for hair, style, makeup, nails, lifestyle and even the small details that make up her everyday life.
When you’re saving images, don’t just ask yourself if something looks beautiful. Ask yourself: Would this be one of her signatures?
Slowly, you start creating a picture of her.
Borrow Inspiration, Don’t Copy
Sometimes the hardest part of finding your own style is knowing where to begin. A tip I love is finding women you admire and studying what makes their style work. This could be a celebrity, an influencer or even someone you follow online because their outfits always catch your attention.
But I’d also try to find someone who actually looks somewhat like you. Not because you need to copy their entire appearance, but because it makes it easier to imagine how certain hairstyles, makeup looks and clothes might translate onto you. If you look more like Tyla, for example, why is your entire beauty board based around Taylor Swift? You can obviously take inspiration from anyone, but finding someone with similar features, hair texture or even proportions can give you a much more useful starting point.
Then comes the important part: don’t copy her. Study her. Look at how she styles her hair, what colours she wears, which silhouettes she gravitates towards and what little details make her instantly recognisable. Take what works for you and leave the rest.
Your inspiration should expand your creativity, not erase your individuality. The goal is never to become her. It’s to figure out what you can take from her world and make your own.
Dress Like Her
There’s a reason clothes have always been connected to identity. The right outfit can change the way you carry yourself before you’ve even said a word.
Your alter ego’s wardrobe doesn’t need to be expensive or completely new. It just needs to feel like you.
The most stylish women aren’t always the ones with the most clothes. They’re the ones who understand themselves.
They know what makes them feel confident, what pieces reflect their personality and what makes them feel like the best version of who they are.
A little pro tip: building a whole new wardrobe can get expensive, and honestly, you don’t need to. This is where thrifting comes in. Whether you’re browsing a charity shop or scrolling through Vinted from your bed, there are so many unique pieces waiting to be found. Sometimes the perfect piece for your alter ego is hiding in someone else’s old wardrobe, or sitting on Vinted for £7.
Becoming Her Happens Slowly
The biggest misconception about transformation is that it happens overnight.
We imagine waking up one morning with a new wardrobe, a new routine and a completely different level of confidence.
But becoming your alter ego happens in small moments.
It’s choosing the hairstyle from your Pinterest board when you next book your appointment. It’s recreating an outfit you saved instead of saying you have nothing to wear. It’s choosing habits that align with the woman you want to become.
Creating an alter ego isn’t about running away from yourself. It’s about meeting yourself properly.
She isn’t a fictional character you have to become overnight. She is built through small choices: the way you present yourself, the habits you create, the things you allow yourself to enjoy.
Maybe creating your alter ego isn’t about becoming someone new. Maybe it’s about finally becoming more of yourself.